I was sitting in church last month when my favorite comb-over brother sat a few rows in front of me. Our church has stadium type seating so I was right above him. As I desperately tried to concentrate on the sermon, all I could think of was what went through this guy's mind as he got ready that morning. It had to go something like this:
"OK. I know I'm almost totally bald but let's see I can the use the remaining strands of hair I have to fool my friends, family and total strangers again".
Brother, you're fooling no one except yourself.
As the oldest cousin I feel it's my responsibility to warn the younger ones.
Don't do it.
They will put pictures of you on the internet.
Even if you're young. Don't do it.
Even if you're famous. Don't do it.
Take it from your aging, follically challenged, cousin and brother... Don't do it.
You need proof? A short history on my hair.
I started out with the coolest hair. I looked like a young Elvis.
By the way, check out the cock-a-doddle-do on Dave's head.
He looks like a young Kramer.
These 3 pictures are probably the happiest days of my hair. Shiny, somewhat straight and healthy. " ...lustrous hair was very important to me."
5th and 6th grade.
I'm the one on the left, for my non-family readers.
This was the beginning of the end. The year was 1968. I was in 7th grade and my hair began to betray me. It could have hormones or maybe it was the 60's but my hair had started an all out revolution.
This is not a mug shot but they should have thrown my hair in jail. Out of control. 10th grade.
Same year, I think. Trying to take back control of hair gone wild. Poor attempt.
A year later. No better. But look at me wrong and I'll kick your ass.
1974. The hair is in all out rebellion mode. I could hardly put the cap on.
1976. What can I say? I loved disco. Lots of blow drying in a feeble attempt to control the monster.
Same year. I had a girl tell me she didn't like my John Travolta look so I went back to my SuperFly look.
All I can say here is: married, two kids, a mortgage and I wasn't even 25 yet.
Your hair would do crazy things too.
Which leads us to today.
I had a friend once say I look better without hair. Well, after all the pain and heartache it's given me I say "Good riddance!".
I leave you with a picture of the beautiful human being responsible for my hairline, Papa Gume, taken when he realized his hair was gone and not coming back.
Dance, baby, dance. Wear it proud.
8 comments:
wow, the evolution of your hair, that's one I never thought I'd read. Oh and that 10th grade mug shot, reminds me of a spanish Lionel Richie.
On behalf of your family, thank you for not doing the comb over. We appreciate it.
You need a hobby! You have way too much time on your hands.
That's exactly was was going through my mind as I worked on this entry, "Man, they probably think I have way too much time on my hands". Once I thought it through I spent about 45 minutes on this, less than the time it takes to watch Extreme Makeover or anyone of those dumb ass reality shows. I have the same amount of time as you all. I just choose not to sit in front of the TV all night.
And Rosie, You're welcome ;-)
Whoa, whoa, whoa.... Hold on here...
Did you check out the picture of when we were little. On a "bobo" in the mouth and "wow". Then I'm the one on the right.....
Wow what happened to me. I was good looking.
OK, back to the hair. U has no hair because he got so smart that there is no room for unimportant things as hair. All room is takin' up by his brain.
As they say back in Wisconsin, hand that man a piece of cheese!
Chicky is right. Jr. is all
brains. So who need hair?
That is my boy.!!! Smart like
his mother.
I really like the couch that you, Laurie and the kids are sitting on.
Could we buy that from you?
I have concluded that those who make fun of the “comb-over” are either bald or have a beautiful head of hair. Those that are like me (somewhere in between bald and lustrous hair), lets called it “thinning”, understand the need for a comb-over, as ridiculous as that sounds. So, I will continue to covet the few strands that I have and do what I can to keep what I have left; and above all- do what I can to not have a blog posting dedicated to my hair.
Comb-overs rock!
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