We All Need a Laugh

LIFE AFTER DEATH :
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS
EMPLOYEES..
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON.
"AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S
FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!



PALM SUNDAY:
IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD
JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY
RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY
ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS
HE WALKED BY."
"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T
GO, HE SHOWS UP!"


CHILDREN'S SERMON:
ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE
CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED
OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE
CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?"
"I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!! "


SUPPORT A FAMILY :
THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU SUPPORT
A FAMILY?"
THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST
PLANNING TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE
TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES."


FIRST TIME USHERS :
A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS
PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES.
WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR
ME DADDY. I'M UNDER FIVE."


CLIMB THE WALLS :
"OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU," THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO HIS
GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE. "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE
TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED.
"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU
CAME TO VISIT," THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED.


THE WATER PISTOL:
WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS
GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL. HE SQUEALED WITH
DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK.
I WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED
AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH
WATER GUNS?" MOM SMILED AND THEN REPLIED.... "I REMEMBER!!"


GRANDMA'S AGE :
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD
YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"